What does that even mean? If you think about it there are so many factors to consider.
First you have age. Everyone expects you to stay in your age lane. If you are a teenager you look the part and shouldn’t dress older. Same thing for your twenties. However once you reach thirty you are now in the awkward stage. You still want to look cute, but you also need to look mature. If you look younger you are trying too hard, but if you dress comfortably you’re not trying hard enough.
Second is your label. Are you a mom? A career driven woman? or both? If you are a mom you are expected to look mature and motherly. If you have a career you are expected to look mature and professional. I’m not sure what both is supposed to look like, but I know someone out there will expect something.
Last is your style. Are you bohemian? Classic? Lackluster? What makes your soul scream “Yesss Girl!”? But remember to include the first two factors in your style decision because they play a critical roll.
I have the absolute hardest time shopping for clothes. It never use to be this way because I didn’t really care what others thought. My style was whatever I liked and was comfortable in. It was whatever made me feel confident in my skin. I sorta tried to stay with the trends, but I also didn’t want to waste my money in my opinion. I liked makeup, but definitely didn’t put in the effort. However the one common trend in all of this… other people’s opinions were never really a priority in my decisions. I did things to the beat of my own drum. I was care free and really enjoyed it.
Unfortunately all of that has changed as I’ve gotten older. Well it has changed to a certain degree. I still will always choose comfort over trends, but now I do worry about what people think. I see something I like and instead of thinking yes that will look good on me I’ll get it, I now look at clothes and wonder..
“Can I pull this off?”
And not only can I pull this off, but is this appropriate? Is this appropriate for my age as well as my status of being a wife and mom? I put so much pressure on myself that I don’t have fun shopping anymore. Every piece of clothing comes with stipulations it feels like. The other day I found a pair of distressed jeans that I loved, I mean really loved, and instead of just buying them right then and there I immediately sent a picture to my best friend and asked if they were appropriate for our age. You know what she did?
She Googled to make sure we could still pull them off!
Yes, you heard that right. She googled to get another opinion because neither of us knew the answer. We found out that it was still ok for us to wear distressed jeans at our age, but come on. Why did we have to do that? Society has made us feel like we need approval from our peers and it’s starting to get out of hand.
Honestly this is all hogwash. Why must we put pressure on ourselves to seek other people’s approval? I want to be able to walk into a store I like and buy whatever calls out to me (within my wallet limits). Be able to look at an article of clothing and not worry about whether someone will judge me for not looking motherly enough or dressing too young for my age. I want to continue dressing according to my mood and not to fit in to society.
Time to Break Free
Actually it will be baby steps because it’s not easy to just not want approval.
To want to fit in.
We all want to be accepted, but honestly we need to focus on what makes us happy and not who tells us to be happy. It’s time to choose for ourselves and let people like us for the awesome people we are. Why must we be something we aren’t in order to please other people? It’s time to release our confidence. Take control of who we really are.
You want to wear leggings, rock those leggings.
You want to wear distressed jeans at thirty, then wear them.
Shop where you want to shop, wear what you want to wear. Let your confidence soar! Rise up and take control. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself just to fit in. Let people like you for who you are and not the clothes you wear. If people are only friends with you because of material things then they were never really your friends. The people who belong in your life are the ones who take you as you are. The good and the bad. Leggings or distressed jeans. Don’t focus on being accepted by other people and instead focus on accepting yourself. Love yourself!
and most importantly, stay comfortable…
I mean confident….well and comfortable too.