The Elf on the damn Shelf
It’s that time of year again. That time where you make your presence known.
The time that I have to add one more thing to my to do list for the day.
I get it, you bring magic and whimsy
You make my children smile when they know you’re back watching over them. They love seeing you in a different spot every morning and even more so when you have made a mess or mischief of some sort through out the house.
They write letters for you to take back to your boss about all the things they want for Christmas.
They talk to you with joy knowing they won’t get a verbal response from you.
You’re their favorite guest!
They don’t really care if they are good or bad while you’re around, but that’s besides the point.
I’m tired of going and going all day and then remembering to move you every night.
I tried so hard skip the elf phase. I avoided it like the plague, but just like the Predator, you found us.
You found us and you latched on like a parasite.
Sucking the life out of me!!!
You see, I never mentioned you to my son when he was little and you first came around. I tried the whole out of sight out of mind technique.
It didn’t work.
You started showing up at school.
In his classroom.
Doing your silly things, making your mischief.
The first time he asked if we could have an elf I said we will see.
The second time he asked Why Santa won’t send him an elf and questioned if he just wasn’t good enough.
That’s it! You finally won!
I mean what choice did I have?
When your kid asks why they don’t have an elf and think there’s something wrong with them, you do whatever you can to make them feel better. You do what you need to do to keep the magic alive and allow them to retain their innocence.
So that’s what I did. I went out and bought the least creepiest elf I could find.
I guess I should tell you I have this weird fear that the doll would come to life and murder me in my sleep. I guess it was all those traumatizing years that I watched Child’s Play.
I mean can you blame me? The thing looks creepy.
So yeah, I went out and bought one I thought was cute and less doll looking.
My kid was happy. He was especially thrilled that Santa sent us a special elf because ours looked different than everyone else’s.
Score one for me.
But then the real fun began.
I had to move you.
To a different spot and make it look like you did stuff.
Why do I constantly have to do this? Who came up with this crazy idea?
I get it, it’s just another way to add magic to Christmas.
However I also think it’s just a way to drive parents crazy for the whole month of December, because it’s not like they don’t have enough going on.
And it possibly has to do with making money (I mean there’s clothes and such)
As much as I wish you would move yourself every night so I don’t have to (but don’t though because I will set you on fire), I will keep the magic alive. I will bring joy even if it’s just you moving around the living and dining room.
I will continue to let my kids talk to you (even though my oldest knows the truth, was happy to get to participate, and has also now continued to forget to move you). My daughter will continue to write letters and put them in the Santa mailbox so that you will whisk them away.
I will do this because it brings a smile to their face. It brings joy to their hearts. And the whimsy of Christmas will continue to live on.
I will continue to do this because making them happy is my job as a parent and I take it very seriously.
Their smiles are contagious and I will do whatever it takes to keep it on their sweet little faces.
I don’t have to like it, but the rewards are worth it so I’ll keep doing it.
But Damn you Elf on the Shelf.
An Exhausted Mama