I decided I wanted to change up some of my blog posts. I originally wanted to start this blog because of all the funny instances that go on in my life and I realized that I have yet to relay some of the amazing (at least I find them amazing) stories that go on in my life. So we are starting a new segment called Storytime where I’ll be sharing different moments that go on during my daily life.
Without further ado… let’s just jump right into it.
The Start Of The Day
It was like any other day in October. The sun was out, birds singing, and everything just seemed perfect. I’m sorry that’s complete bullshit. The weather may have been nice, but the day was not.
Of all days that she could be a complete brat and do something like this, just had to fall on a day that we had a million things to do. Because it was October that means Halloween was right around the corner. Guess what I tasked myself in doing?
If you guessed making the kids their costumes then you’d be correct.
So yeah, I made the bold decision, in October, to make TWO Halloween costumes for the kids instead of buying them. I’m not really sure why I do this to myself, but I always get these inspirations to just DIY EVERYTHING that I can because I apparently think I can do these things, but I just can’t NEMO! (Comment if you got that reference). So that’s what I was working on all day.
Alright Get to the Good Stuff
My daughter was two years old at the time of the “incident”. I’m not sure if you know this, but two year olds always know when you are in the middle of something and that’s when they strike. They thrive off of getting all up in your shit when you really need them not to. You may think it’s just a toddler thing, but no she calculated this. ALL of this!
So I’m over here working on the costumes, she was going as Minnie Mouse and my son was going as Steve from Minecraft in diamond armor. I decided to work on hers first since my son’s shouldn’t be that difficult and I had to sew hers. Well this is what I get for assuming things (this will be a theme). My sewing machine decided that it just wasn’t in the mood to work. It kept eating my fabric, not holding a stitch, basically you name it the machine was doing. So my patience was VERY thin at this time.
My daughter knowing this (because they are SMART), decided to be clingy and wanted to help make her costume. Any other time she would want nothing to do with me, but Oh No, not today. Today she HAD to be involved. Also if she didn’t get her way there apparently was going to be consequences (this is what we call foreshadowing).
This is where it gets interesting
Due to my machine acting up, I decided to take a break from sewing and move on to my son’s costume. I figured since his was mostly painting that it really shouldn’t be too stressful. I really need to lose this type of thinking because it only gets me in trouble.
Since I needed to spray paint I had to take my project outside. Of course I didn’t take her with me because I would be distracted. This is what I get for trying to be responsible.
While she was distracted I quickly went outside. I left the door cracked a little so that I could hear her and also to make sure she didn’t destroy the house in the 10 minutes I was outside.
Which you know is entirely possible for a two year old.
Well it didn’t take her long to find me. I think it was like two minutes into being outside and I heard her sweet little voice say “I come outside too?”. I told her no that I needed her to stay in and that I wouldn’t be long. Well apparently that wasn’t the answer she was looking for and the next thing I heard was the door slamming. I whipped around to catch her death glare through the window, but like a good mom I ignored her and went back to what I was doing. This had to be done so I really didn’t have time to deal with her pouting.
I should have dealt with her pouting.
And this is where it all goes to hell in a hand basket. I finish painting and go to head back in. Well unbeknownst to me she was so mad that she decided to lock the door. By the way while I’m finding out that I’m locked out of the house she is still staring at me through the window except this time she has a huge smile on her face (I told you she’s smart!). I try to contain my panic and ask her nicely to unlock the door.
She literally looks at me, does this half ass attempt at unlocking the door, and then shrugs her shoulders and says “I can’t.”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T?! I’VE SEEN YOU DO IT BEFORE!!!” I said calmly. I continue to jiggle the handle as if it will magically cause the lock to just turn on it’s own and then I start to panic. By the way I should point out that I don’t have my phone with me either because that would just be really helpful. I continue to yell at her to come unlock the door and watch as she prances around the house like a kid in a candy store. She’s so happy with what she has done.
After five minutes of trying I bring in backup
I quickly run over to my neighbor’s house and ask to use her phone to call anyone I know with a key. First call was to my husband who was not happy that I didn’t have my keys on me (I should point out that this was not the first time she has done this, we were just prepared for it that time) and that he was on his way. I also called my mom because they were supposed to come watch the kids for us as we had a funeral to attend that evening (it just keeps getting better and better). However they were tied up and could not get to me fast enough.
So my neighbors and I decide to see if she would unlock the door if she had a friend to play with. We brought their son over and had him try to convince her. It didn’t work. At this point she was playing in her tent and when instructed to unlock the door she would poke her head out and give a firm “NO!” before going back in. We tried begging, bribing, pleading. Searched for other ways in. All the while I watched in horror as she started to work her magic on the house. She started pulling all her toys out, moving furniture that she could, and then dumped a whole cup of water on the coffee table and played in it.
My nightmare comes to an end
Finally my husband showed up after what felt like forever and opened the door to a very friendly monster. She looked at him with her sweet little eyes, told him hello, and pretended that she was an angel the whole time. The whole incident was about 20 minutes long, but I’m pretty sure it took years off my life.
My daughter is almost five now and to this day I’m still dealing with the trauma of it all. Any time I walk outside for a second and hear the door shut my heart skips a beat. However she definitely knows how to unlock the doors so it shouldn’t be an issue. Maybe I’ll just keep my keys on me.
Oh who are we kidding, that’s just not the type of person I am.